Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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