I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
