I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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