His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
