508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
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we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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