i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
