I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize