He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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