I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
