I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
