At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
