Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
