I wish I could punch you in the face.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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