he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My liver just had a heart attack.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
