shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
