I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
