Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
