I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
