So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
