The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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