Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
