my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
