Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I FOUND THE LEGS
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
