It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
