i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
