why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
