: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize