Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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