no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
