Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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