Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
