Where is the hickey?
i will never coherently bang her
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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