Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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