Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
