Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
