I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
