just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
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I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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