Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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