This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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