Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
