He is like the real live version of the state fair..
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
