I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
