Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
