Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
