Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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