so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
