can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
