Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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