i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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