Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
