Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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