that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
