Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
