i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize