My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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