god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My feet surprised me
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