and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
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You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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